This is only the trash from my mind. I just want to loose my negative thoughts curently, so I just throw everything in this blog.
I don't know what happen with me currently... I just feel like.. meh.. I don't know what to do.. Do you ever feel that "lost" feeling? I did. I did ever feel it. A couple times. Not only once. Do you know what is the thing that make me feel more lost.. Because I never imagine it before.. Yap. Never. Ever... until I stay in the condition that I felt totally lost... I made my life plan very well, but I forgot that Allah has the best plan for me.. I forgot it. I just made a perfect life plan, until everything was broken a part.. and I don't know what to do in my life.. I don't know what is the plan that I need to prepare for my future. Especially my career...
Meeeennnnnnn... I hate this feeling. I never know it before that this failure thing will make my motivation, my life plan, and my career plan broken a part.. It was totally broken and I don't know how to gather it again..
Gue ngerasa hidup gue hampa. Hampa sehampa-hampanya.. I know I have my god. I know I still have my friends which is always stay beside me even in the worst situation... But still.. I still feel it like... I couldn't tell it with the words.. I even don't know how to explain it. Thanks god I still have Qur'an and Shalat to make make feel better.. If not, maybe I start to have a depression.. hhoho..
Baiklah.. mari kita curahkan semuanya dari sinii...
Gue adalah tipe orang visioner yang selalu ngebuat plan hidup gue jangka pendek dan jangka menengah. Once upon a time, ketika gue masih menjalani dunia perkuliahan gue yang sometimes I felt It so boring and I just slept in the class, gue udah punya tujuan di hidup gue, bukan tujuan sih, tapi lebih tepatnya rencana mau ngapain gue setelah lulus kuliah nanti. Setidaknya hal itu berhasil membuat gue mempunyai sedikit alias secercah harapan dengan dunia perkuliahan gue. Gue tipe orang yang butuh tantangan, yang kalo dikasih hal yang biasa aja jadinya bosen dan ilang semua motivasi.. begitupun dengan kuliah gue.. Alhamdulillahnya, walopun begitu, IPK gue masih bisa diselamatkan di angka 3 koma sekian sekian.... lumayan jadi bekal lah buat mengarungi kerasnya kehidupan saat ini.. Kehiddupaan yang
sering saya pikir scary enough for me... But I try to release that thoughts in my mind...
Oke, back to the topic. Saat itu gue udah punya rencana buat beresin kuliah cepet2, terus ikut program magang di US, lalu ambil S2, lalu berkarir di Kementrian Pertanian, If not.. Gue pilih berkarir jadi entrepreneur di bidang agroindustri yang dulu gue pikir simple banget, eh tapi ternyata pas dijalani susah yaa..
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